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Purification 101: Purifying Soul Crushing AngerThis posting began as an aspect of my awakening process which is related to a post I made in the "Living as a Soul" within the "I Am and You Are One" section of the One Earth Awakening forum. Follow this link: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=5&start=12 the post is called, REDEMPTION and the Purification of the USA Prison System
Beloved Julie wrote to me concerning the post, which I edited out the following line which I had written:
"since as Christian theology most especially teaches "we are all sinners" and so there is not space for redemptive thinking or values."
Dearest Johanna,
Your post in today's forum contains darkness as well as truth, and does not represent your own higher self knowing. It contains anger and accusation against "Christian theology" and its definition of all as sinners, when this is not true of many Christians, and when you have not clearly defined what a 'sinner' is. Much of what is meant by this concept within Christianity refers to 'The Fall' from innocence which was real. However, this 'Fall' was not an accident or a mistake, but a part of the plan for Creation, part of the choice for freedom. You could hold more forgiveness in your heart for those who do not understand more about this.
"since as Christian theology most especially teaches "we are all sinners" and so there is not space for redemptive thinking or values."
When you accuse a group as you have here, lumping all who practice a religion under one brand of theology, you become like those you are accusing. You are doing the same thing to those souls who are less conscious that you feel that they are doing to others. It is not loving or forgiving. Blessings, dear heart. You must separate yourself from your anger, since without forgiveness you will not be heard. Julie
Her email, published with her permission, helped me to connect the dots so to speak, to an ongoing issue I have with almost all religious sects where zealotry and abuse of power is not contained. I first would like to admit in the post I did not delineate the difference between believers who were zealots and abuse power and those who are not. I publish this email for two reasons - to show my error and to illuminate how unchecked and unconscious anger can crush the soul and jade ones consciousness.
This following is an encapsulation, of my embodied journey home to God and what happened to my heart along the way.
The Origins of My Soul Crushing Anger
Now this post may not be what you expect dear readers when I speak of soul crushing anger. I am going to share with you, some beliefs I have, that you may not. As such, take what is helpful in this post, and let go of what you do not resonate with - most likely it will be my speaking of remembering aspects of other embodied lives than they one I am experiencing in this moment in time.
Movies can be a wonderful link for the soul in this present incarnation to other embodied incarnations. At no other point in time that I am aware of, have I had an opportunity through the watching of films, to re-experience or awaken my consciousness to aspects of my many embodied lives.
Re-experiencing past lives through films began some time ago, before I was as awake as I can be in this given moment. As a young child, I was strongly attracted to films produced mostly in the 1960's, about Beloved Christ Jesus where he was depicted as a loving being - pure love and his Teachings - about how to love, whom to love and to live a life of service through love. Other movies such as Brother Sun, Sister Moon, brought me to tears in remembering a time in which I lived such a life of love and witnessed religious corruption.
When I was in the early stages of my awakening process I first had my, "I have been there!", experience watching a movie about ancient Greece, where I was watching a group of people lined up on a Grecian style of steps leading to a temple with great pillars. In a second, I knew - knew in my heart, that I had been there. To this day I remember the experience with intense inner clarity.
There were more awakenings or memories of who I have been as an embodied soul, related to being a Native American (many variations), Egyptian (having to do with service in the temples). I remember walking in the crowds, far behind Christ Jesus and the Disciples, longing like the woman in scriptures who touched His robe, to be nearer to Him. I remember being a very old African holy man chained to the front of a slave ship dying of dysentery before landing in America. I remember being a mendicant (many lives in different religious traditions), and a Cathar. I remember many lives of my soul seeking experiences in my embodied life, longing to find my way home to God, often in ways in which were considered by the ruling religion of those periods as 'heretical' and losing my life in the name of God in horrific ways. I remember being burned as a witch, hung as a holy woman who was a healer and dying as a young girl about 13-14 in the streets of London, pregnant, with people all around me uncaring, my last thoughts for the child. I have strong associations with Britain - the peoples who roamed the hills and lived peacefully like the rainbow peoples who gather yearly to this day.
My heart remembers the times when Brother John Wycliffe was alive and the struggles of Brother Tyndale - when the Tudors ruled England and people died horrifically not only of plague - but for how they practiced their beliefs in prayer and worshiping Christ Jesus, and God.
There are other religious/spiritual oriented embodied memories, which include Mother India, of my Beloved Buddha, and remembrances I have when I hear the Blessed Call to Prayer.
"Whew!" You might being saying about now.
"When did your soul have time to rest?"
And there is the crux of who I am. I am a soul, who has been hungry to know God, it seems, from the moment my soul was created by God and my embodiments upon the earth began.
AND, along the way through my many embodiments, the "I" in InI has, in my heart, garnered 'emotional luggage' which the carrying of, is crushing the love which seeks to come forth from my soul.
One of the most profound and most difficult elements I have garnered 'along the way' of my many embodiments is anger. I have a deep and abiding anger towards zealots and the power corrupt. Most especially, those humans who kill, torture and persecute other human beings in the Name of (their) God. I find I cannot forgive and am deeply angry. To this day, I can become triggered and immediately find my self as Beloved Julie has shared with me, "'vibrating' with the lower, vibrations of pain and fear from my history on Earth".
This is the next step of my Purification Process* - to heal this soul crushing anger. I will tell you now, as I read of Nigerian children being burned alive in schools by religious zealots - this will be no easy task. It will be very difficult, as I am living on a planet where I am surrounded by some humans whom I judgmentally feel, do not trust the God they profess to believe in - rather find it is their job - to kill, torture and persecute, anyone who does not believe and worship in the ways of the zealot.
So you see (or perhaps can feel) the energies I carry, energies of darkness in my heart - my anger, my judgement, my pain and my fears - I have laid them all out for you dear readers to witness - knowing my every word is being recorded and stored away - so that you too, may heal what is soul crushing within your own heart - which is not of LOVE. I share this pain and anger of my heart so that you dear readers will see, that Purification is real - and that healing is possible - through my journey home to God.
oneLOVE
(This is my signature as it is the consciousness where my soul longs to be - united in LOVE with all of humanity - without judgement or anger - just the purity of LOVE… May God hear my hearts prayer and heal me. Amen.)
Last edited by Johanna on Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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