Exploration of Self Part II Energies and Perceptions
Hello Dear Readers,
This post is for those who are aware of having energetic sensitivities in conjunction with the question I asked in the previous post - Who am I?
When one is energetically sensitive, one feels currents of energies. What energies? In this instance, energies which are emotional in nature, mental in nature, and spiritual in nature. When I speak of energies in this post, I will be addressing specifically the energies we release, or perceive energetically coming from other embodied souls and the energies we project onto other souls without ever speaking to them.
Here are a few instances that may illustrate what I am speaking to.
Yesterday, being a nice day weather wise, I decided to take a drive to the garden centers and look around at what was available. Being a recluse by nature, time spent alone for the most part during the pandemic has been enlightening as well as helpful when it comes to energetic sensitivities. Having not been out around other embodied souls for months now, I have found that I am more able to better delineate what is ‘me’ energetically and what is coming from others.
Yesterday, on the drive back home, I began perceiving energies that have not been in my consciousness this past year. Energies which seem to inform my mind and my consciousness with messages such as - "you are ugly, you do not fit in, you are different, you are not to be trusted, you are old" - very negative judgmental energies. It was Dear Readers, really quite shocking to feel these energies and to feel these forms of consciousness in my thoughts. I even looked in the rear view mirror to see if what I was feeling was true, and I saw reflected back to me what I had been perceiving energetically coming into my consciousness. This experience was really troubling because before I went out, well for over a year, such thoughts never entered my consciousness. I felt my light, the beauty of my love, the beauty of my beingness.
What had happened? As I walked around I took in the energies of the perceptions of how people perceived who I am being projected onto me. In a way, this experience was really freeing, for I have been suffering from similar experiences all my life, believing I needed to change or be something different so that when I was out and around other embodied souls I would not pick up these projections. I can tell the youth who may be reading this post in the present moment, it never worked. No matter what I did, I would take in the energies - thoughts, projections, and perceptions of others. All it made me was miserable and not authentically me. I spent my youth and adulthood striving to be acceptable to others perceptions and projections without even realizing it. I did not know about energetic sensitivities back then. Sadly, I did not know that I was unconsciously engaging in these behaviours.
Here is another example. When I look into mirrors in stores which sell clothing in the women’s section, I feel the energies of self-hatred and self-loathing in the mirrors themselves. Who I am, what I feel about myself is different from what happens when I look into these mirrors and see what is reflected back to me. The only places I have not felt or seen these energies in the mirrors in the women's section is when I shop in stores which are predominantly shopped by people of color. In those mirrors, I feel and see in the mirrors the energies of self-acceptance, self-love, and a joyfulness of being.
One more example. For as long as I can remember, when driving, as I would drive by embodied souls walking down the road, I would feel the projections of racial hatred and bigotry in the people walking. I would bless them, hoping to clear some of the energies away that other embodied souls who were driving by them or walking by them had through their thoughts and emotions, projected onto them. A pattern emerges as I look back on these experiences, this has happened predominately with people of color. In the same vein, when it came to the homeless, I would pick up less negative noise or energies in the homeless who were of Caucasian heritage. When it was people of color asking for money, the energies were so dark, hateful and judgmental around them.
There are a few messages in this post. Firstly, if you are energetically sensitive, it is so important to know who you are, separate from what others think or perceive about you. This is important as you interact with other embodied souls throughout your day that you can separate away what is you, and what are the energies of what others perceive about you, or project onto you.
Another message has to do with being careful about what we project energetically onto other embodied souls. It can happen in an instant. In an instant, we can judge another, we can project energetically our biases, out prejudices, even our own self-loathing or self-hatred onto others.
To love one another is to first know thyself, to first know who you are, to know what is yours energetically - mental thoughts, emotional currents as well as feelings and perception we are experiencing. Only then, when we look out from the soul through the eyes onto one another, I believe can we then look at each other with love, curiosity which is immersed in innocence, and a joy of wanting to know who the soul is that one is looking upon.
with love, Johanna
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