Wednesdays with Johanna

Johanna thank you so much for this opportunity to ask you questions. I am trying so hard to find peace in my life without drugs and alcohol and its been an 8 year struggle for me. My boyfriend died this past January which sent me into a 6 month depression and drug and alcohol binge. I don't feel Robert around me ever and I talk out loud to him all the time. I just want to know if our loved ones that have passed over can hear and see us? I feel like half of me is gone and the emptiness I feel is almost too much to bear. Ive dealt with suicidal thinking for years and made an attempt after his death. Everyone says things get better in time but for me everyday is the same. I try so hard to monitor my thinking but my negative and destructive thoughts always take over. How can I start to heal when deep down I don't have any hope for myself?

Jeannie Phillips Jeannie Phillips:

Ps We are all at different levels of awareness and have to speak from our own truths (whatever they may be) on this forum. My philosophy has always been to listen to others…if it sits comfortably I will accept their point of view; if not, I disregard it. It would be a shame to discourage anyone making a comment, because we are all here to learn, support, and help one another.

Commenting Guidelines:

What is this essence that we are being called to? It is love, it is truth, and it is the wisdom of our soul. Our essence is the way God created us. It is not a state of feeling. It is a state of being. The light of God shines through the core of our being and gives to us those God-qualities with which we were created.
GOALS OF PURIFICATION - II. Discovering the Essential Self - Julie

When commenting I ask that your comments reflect your experiences, rather than give any spiritual prescriptions or pointing out that another is missing, lacking, not doing or being ___________.

Unless someone on this thread specifically asks another - "What do you think is going on with me", or "What do you think I should do?", I feel that great restraint should be used when we share.

I have found it best over the years to share what my experience is, and for others to share what their experience is, and to be very, very careful about telling another what they think another is going through.

Asking permission or the person who is commenting, giving their permission, for all to post comments or give advice as to what they perceive is going on is the boundary I would like to set for this thread and the YouTube videos thread.

To perceive oneness with others requires that we perceive their highest intentions which are close to our own, not their lowest intentions which drive us apart. It also requires that we perceive our own highest intentions. When we do so, things that seemed of importance to us as sources of conflict become less important. We are not 'here' and others 'there'. We are not of one kind and others of another kind. "All can be fed" when all are seen to be souls similar to ourselves, and this takes place when the perception of the 'self' deepens, enhancing our understanding of who we are and who 'they' are.
GOALS OF PURIFICATION - II. Discovering the Essential Self - Julie

Blessing and love to all beings today and always.
I join in prayer and thanksgiving for that which is being given and received for the best and highest good of all.

When all that one carries is brought to
the light of God,
what remains within will be the presence of love.

Day 33, Calendar of Healing
http://lightomega.org/CH/Cal-Healing.html

kth92485 kth92485:

Johanna thank you so much for this opportunity to ask you questions. I am trying so hard to find peace in my life without drugs and alcohol and its been an 8 year struggle for me. My boyfriend died this past January which sent me into a 6 month depression and drug and alcohol binge. I don't feel Robert around me ever and I talk out loud to him all the time. I just want to know if our loved ones that have passed over can hear and see us? I feel like half of me is gone and the emptiness I feel is almost too much to bear. Ive dealt with suicidal thinking for years and made an attempt after his death. Everyone says things get better in time but for me everyday is the same. I try so hard to monitor my thinking but my negative and destructive thoughts always take over. How can I start to heal when deep down I don't have any hope for myself?

I thank you for your question and am 'with' you in this moment since you your revealed your pain. In my reading of your pain, I have chosen to take it to my heart, my altar to God, for your grief is profound and the emptiness you perceive around you vast.

I will pray for an answer for you dearest and reply as soon as I receive it.

Blessings.

Thank you. I wondered if you knew if suicide is ever in someone's blueprint or if that is something that is only done on free will? I have felt for a long time that I won't be around much longer and I don't want to be. My only hesitation is hurting my parents and my 4 siblings.

kth92485 kth92485:

Johanna thank you so much for this opportunity to ask you questions. I am trying so hard to find peace in my life without drugs and alcohol and its been an 8 year struggle for me. My boyfriend died this past January which sent me into a 6 month depression and drug and alcohol binge. I don't feel Robert around me ever and I talk out loud to him all the time. I just want to know if our loved ones that have passed over can hear and see us? I feel like half of me is gone and the emptiness I feel is almost too much to bear. Ive dealt with suicidal thinking for years and made an attempt after his death. Everyone says things get better in time but for me everyday is the same. I try so hard to monitor my thinking but my negative and destructive thoughts always take over. How can I start to heal when deep down I don't have any hope for myself?

I would like to invite all the souls on this forum reading this post, to join 'with' the soul who identifies themselves as "kth92485" and myself, in praying for the relief of the intense suffering this soul has been going through, and for enlightened guidance and strength from the Realms of Light.

Amen.

kth92485 kth92485:

Thank you. I wondered if you knew if suicide is ever in someone's blueprint or if that is something that is only done on free will? I have felt for a long time that I won't be around much longer and I don't want to be. My only hesitation is hurting my parents and my 4 siblings.

Your asking of the second question love, no matter its content - speaks of a faint ray of hope.

I will add this question to the first group and answer them all accordingly. Come back in about an hour and I will be able to share more with you.

Take the time if you can, to just feel the love coming forward to your heart. To feel my love. Seek to perceive it.

Let me know what you are feeling like in the next hour.

I will have your answers by 2:30. Until then, just be, and open your heart as much as is possible in the moment, to the experience of LOVE seeking to be 'with' you.

Blessings dearest.

Dear kth92485, Though you do not feel hope, right now, it is there inside you as a soft glow that is waiting for you. The hopelessness you feel is part of your process of transformation and healing.. so while you feel that you are surrounded by nothingness Know that is NOT truth. I join with Johanna in prayer for you while we wait for an answer from the divine Realms of Light. ~ blessings, Meg

Meg Meg:

Blessing and love to all beings today and always.
I join in prayer and thanksgiving for that which is being given and received for the best and highest good of all.

When all that one carries is brought to
the light of God,
what remains within will be the presence of love.

Day 33, Calendar of Healing
http://lightomega.org/CH/Cal-Healing.html

Blessed Love, dearest Sister of the Light

She calls us to prayer from her loving heart

How can we not yield to the voice of her love calling us?

kth92485 kth92485:

Thank you. I wondered if you knew if suicide is ever in someone's blueprint or if that is something that is only done on free will? I have felt for a long time that I won't be around much longer and I don't want to be. My only hesitation is hurting my parents and my 4 siblings.

I will answer this question first - is suicide ever a part of a souls blue print?

I have gone through periods of intense, grinding, and mentally and emotionally draining pain, suffering and agony in my life - especially within the last 20 years.

Not only have I contemplated suicide - I have seen visions of myself going through with the act.

And this is what I have now come to believe.

That suicide is the forces of darkness, leaching onto our pain, seeking to call us to their realms. The forces of those opposed to the Light, will often latch onto the pain of a soul and use that souls mind, to further torment them. The torment will then turn into negative thoughts of all varieties, especially thoughts where the embodied soul is in so much pain - literally agony - that it feels no Hope and as such, contemplates ending the embodied life - to relieve to suffering.

Here is the ironic part of it all - what the energies darkness do not tell you - that "hell' is being a a place where there is no perception of hope or love. That is hell. For the soul - being of LOVE, of Light, seeks at all moments to be One with Love, One with the Light. Hell for souls, embodied and not - is not being able to perceive LOVE or Light.

By being embodied, a soul has more opportunities, no matter the level of suffering and agony - to find relief. Relief is found in perceiving love. The road to perceiving love is hope. Hope is found through the surrendering of the self, in surrendering in a moment - the belief in the negativity and negative thoughts plaguing the tortured soul - in the possibility that something other than suffering is possible.

Can suicide be a part of a spiritual blue print? I think that for me, I have gone through other life times of such severe torment and agony, that I have in this life time, brought in the experience of suicide to purify in this lifetime. So in that sense, if my blue print is based on behaviours in past lives, which now need to be faced in this life time, and purified -purified in meaning - in this lifetime I do not choose the path of ending that which Grace has so freely given me as a blessed gift, then yes, not committing suicide in my case in this lifetime, was a part of my spiritual blueprint.

Do you see what I am saying? It is the not committing of the suicide which is part of my spiritual blue print.

I hope you can hear me love - for you are as a soul, dealing with forces which seek to take you from the Light, from LOVE, from all hope. AND your soul dearest, is so strong, so brilliant, so radiant - even as you suffer in the deepest of darkness and the vastness of emptiness - you saw me and reached out. Like attracts like love. You can only 'see' me because you are who you are - you are, as I am.

You can't see or believe this because of the levels of sufferation you have been enduring FOR YEARS. And yet, in a moment, your soul in all its beauty, perceived hope and reached out. IT is a tiny string of hope. And in the presence of the intense suffering and darkness you have been enduring - it is - phenomenal.

Your bring, in your suffering, hope to so many who will come across this post who are suffering similarly. Souls who know, without a doubt, the level and despair you are enduring - and who like your self, know in the depths of their souls - that some thing else is possible, that hope and life is possible, even in the face of the forces of darkness and intense negativity which are egging you on to harm yourself - your soul dearest - reached out to love.

with Blessings and love,
Johanna

Last edited by Johanna on Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:35 am, edited 2 times in total.

0:

File comment: NGC604 - Firestorm of Starbirth in a Local Galaxy Image Credit: NASA and the Hubble Heritage Team (AURA/STScI)
http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/nebula_collection/pr2003030a/

SP-Firestorm-top1024.jpg [ 28.99 KiB | Viewed 7489 times ]

I sweep through the infinity of time like a ray of light coming to land on a speck of dust
that is solid and therefore visible.

Thus, do I enter time and become finite, yet remain in the infinite light as well,
transformed as both light and dust, one not more than the other.

In the blink of an eye I leap through universes and cosmos into unknown space,
dark as the deepest sea is dark, dark as the blackest night is dark,

Dancing and swirling within the light, I become a star – a star and a speck of dust,
the infinite and the finite,

I sweep through the infinity of time like a ray of light coming to land on a speck of dust
that is solid and therefore visible.

Thus, do I enter time and become finite, yet remain in the infinite light as well,
transformed as both light and dust, one not more than the other.

In the blink of an eye I leap through universes and cosmos into unknown space,
dark as the deepest sea is dark, dark as the blackest night is dark,

Dancing and swirling within the light, I become a star – a star and a speck of dust,
the infinite and the finite,

Forever joined in deepest love,

Forever joined in holiness.

STAR POEMS

NGC604 - Firestorm of Starbirth in a Local Galaxy Image Credit: NASA and the Hubble Heritage Team (AURA/STScI)
http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/neb ... r2003030a/

Dear Beloved One, (kth)

Your dialogue with Johanna evokes the greatest love and the greatest compassion from those who will read it and from those in the Realms of Light who wish to say this to you:

In the midst of great suffering you are never alone. In the midst of great emptiness, your deeper self is eternally connected to Love. When you believe this, you can allow your hands to let go a little of what you have been clinging to as the assurance of hope, of love, and even of life itself. When you know this, then that which is gone - the loved one that is gone - is not necessary to draw back, for that which you love always remains with you. It is part of love itself and the nature of the Universe.

Your dialogue about pain is of great beauty and a tribute to the possibilities of seeking and finding light in the midst of darkness.

Recognize what you are truly seeking, for your Beloved is not only the one whom you have loved in this present life who is now gone. It is also the One who holds all within Itself - God who is Love. Accept the love that seeks to welcome you now, beloved one, and let this be the beginning of something new.

All blessings - Julie and the Realms of Light

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