"To let go of ownership of one's life is to become a new being, a being who lives upon the Earth but whose life and whose heart is in God's reality. This can only be achieved when the physical is no longer separate from the spiritual, and when the heart truly lives a life of love."SURRENDER http://lightomega.org/Ind/Pure/Surrender.html Yesterday I closed all the curtains in the house, shut all the windows, and put on the air conditioners, sealing myself energetically, inside.
Before my mind was even aware of the fact that energies were surging through me, my body consciousness was aware and making preparations for refuge and quiet.
Throughout the day, the most that I could manage energetically was a self care day of supporting my body through healing practices.
Even my meditations have been influenced by this energy which has been affecting me detrimentally for at least the last year. Rather than bringing rest to my nervous system, my mediations have been bringing forth experiences of my heart rate increasing, at first anchoring during the meditations, then for hours after the meditation. Along with the increased heart rate, I have also been experiencing profound sweating as heat surges through my body, occurring at any time throughout the meditation. Deep breathing practices including alternative nostril breathing brings little to no relief. Neither do my cache of herbs for the nervous system, nor amino acids. All I can do is continue to breath and ride out the waves of energy moving through me.
This particular energy with its own tonality and frequency, comes and goes like the proverbial thief in the night. Even after years of taking this energy in, my mind is always the last to know when it is back and affecting me (although my body has become aware of its presence). I never know how long this energy will be affecting me, nor do I know in the moment how to support my body as the currents surge through me. Each event, although similar in frequency, affects my nervous system with greater or lesser intensity sometimes affecting the sympathetic nervous system, sometimes affecting the parasympathetic nervous system, sometimes affecting my heart, at other times affecting my brain causing me to feel cognitively scrambled and unable to put simple sentences together or frame an idea to verbally convey. This energy also depletes me internally, seemingly wiping out as my Acupuncturist has informed me, my Qi and Wei Qi.Darkness is both a cosmic energy and a specific force that can affect individual motivation and feeling. It tells us that we are real and that our feelings are real, but that God is not real. From one perspective, darkness may be thought of as the energy of separated intellect that causes doubt. From another perspective, it may be thought of as that which separates us fram an experience of God's love and from love in general. It does this by creating a 'perceptual filter' that causes us to believe that only what we perceive with our five physical senses is real, and that all else is an illusion. It persuades our mind to consider Divine reality as a fabrication that we make up in order to comfort ourselves.
The energy of darkness creates a sense of isolation within individuals, between people, and among nations. It fuels the negative emotional states that interfere with peace, and leads humanity toward despair, hopelessness, and fear. Even if at other moments we remain faithful to the vision of the sacred, in moments of darkness we turn away from this vision and lose touch with our basic truth. The reversal of this movement is often difficult thought possible, namely, to choose trust with our hearts, even in the presence of our mind's doubt.Throughout my 20+ years of Purification as well as my years of beloved service to the Higher Realms of Light through my body, my mind has always been 'the last to know' what is going on. This is not a complaint - this is just the way I AM has made me. Trusting, sometimes quite blindly, has been an integral part of my spiritual path. Often in circumstances which cannot be explained to those around me, with the exception of Beloved Julie.
Last night I found a website for Highly Sensitive Persons*, for those who are much like myself, in the fact that they too, have highly sensitive nervous systems. Wow I thought, I wish I knew this years ago when i was a youth. So many years I have spent defending my energetic sensitivities and eccentric needs which others can only shake their heads at and wonder of my sanity. I AM has made my body to take in energies, to read energies, to contain energies, and sometimes, to transform energies which plague humanity as well as our beloved Planet Earth.
Taking in these levels of intense energies and energy surges requires living in spaces of near complete silence and solitude. Whether it is noise, wifi or radio waves, my need for space from these energies is crucial. Taking in the oppositional energies in service and love, along with the upsurge of traffic congestion, wifi and radio waves, has made living in one place in a steady manner nearly impossible for years on end. As soon as I 'think' I have found a peaceful and quiet place to live - kapow! In the course of purification, many experience the helplessness of being unable to immediately alter the circumstances and conditions of energies that are purifying. This helplessness, so intrinsic to the process of purification, offers a choice between protesting, denying, or rebelling against such conditions, or placing them in the embrace of Divine light and love and asking for help with the further clearing out of unwanted energies, thoughts, and emotions.
The premise involved in such turning to God is that there is only a certain amount that one can do on one's own in order to alleviate certain internal conditions that are not self-chosen on a conscious level, and that for the rest, one's relationship with the Divine is the central axis around which all change needs to occur.
Such surrender to the Divine for help, guidance, and grace is at the heart of the purification process and also at the heart of man's Covenant with God.
The most recent example being the wonderful place where I now live. The road adjacent to my house is a clearly marked 25 mph and 'No Thru Trucks' zone. In the last two years, the car and all manner of truck drivers have been using this road as a cut through, avoiding the parallel road where they can drive 45 mph but can be more congested with traffic. (As the beloved wood around me is being cut down for more small 'mansions' with golf course lawns on 1/2 acred lots, the traffic volume is increasing). Drivers with ever affordable GPS systems, have found a cut-thru through our neighborhood which is zoned for 25 mph and have been speeding between 40 - 50 mph both cars and all makes of large trucks. It sounds and feels as if as if I live next to a highway. For those with a sensitive nervous system to stimuli and chaos, this sensory experience auditiorialy, and vibrationally, feels at times like torture to my nervous system.
What was once an outdoor refuge of peace, running water, and birdsong has become instead, a trauma inducing experience. The 'swoosh, swoosh, swoosh' of cars and trucks, the sound of vehicles, motorcycles, and trucks accelerating and speeding is never ending throughout the day until late in the evening. The sounds of trucks rumbling and accelerating is like a nail being run over a chalkboard to my sensitive nervous system. The angry horn beeping and brakes screeching is ever-present at the evening and morning rush hour drivers aggressively vie for first through the stop sign. I have placed out 'Please Slow Down' signs, I have gone to the police to share my concerns, which they were already well aware of, and it was made clear that they are tired of hearing from me about the speeding. So my once beloved place of refuge has become instead a source of nervous system trauma and stress.It sometimes happens that in order for a new identity to emerge, not only inner changes must take place, but outer structures in one’s life may also need to be let go of. Such letting go may include relationships, work, financial security, even the place in which one lives. This kind of upheaval may seem random or unnecessary and may appear to have only negative consequences. Yet, a higher intelligence exists within the life plan for each soul which safeguards the forward movement of that plan, even in the presence of adversity, and even in the presence of pain or loss. Such intelligence contains the understanding that what has been lost or let go of will be replaced by a new set of circumstances that the soul is waiting for, hoping for, circumstances that bring greater growth to the embodied self and that only letting go can bring into being. This posting is a small slice of some of the aspects of my energetic reality Dear Readers. I write this not for your sympathy, although your empathy would be gladly welcomed by my heart. I am writing about a few of my experiences with oppositional forces of energy so that those who come and read this posting may find hope and recognition concerning their own energetic experiences as our beloved planet continues to accelerate in frequency and momentum.
Sometimes just riding out the waves of surges of energies is enough. Sometimes changes are needed within the environment to sustain and nurture you especially if you are transforming and containing energies. As I am a late learner of this truth I can only share with you the wisdom I have accrued so far through experience and often, suffering: as an energetically sensitive person, empath, or a Highly Sensitive Person*, as our planet continues to change in frequency and as time continues to accelerate, taking care of my nervous systems, no matter how 'crazy' my needs for solitude, rest, and rejuvenation may seem to those whose nervous systems are less sensitive then mine, is crucial to my health, my well-beingness and my service unto God and the Realms of Light.
As the Light increases upon this blessed planet, everything is being changed by the incoming frequencies of Light. These changes at first, will, and are, bringing to the surface of the planetary consciousness and individual consciousness thoughts, motivations, actions, and feelings which are dense and separated from the frequency and vibrations of Love and Light.
As energetically sensitive embodied beings, many of us are, consciously and unconsciously, through our nervous systems, containing and transforming these energies so that they may eventually be redeemed and returned, once again at one with the Light.
I pray for those whose suffering is far greater than mine, that they may find peace and refuge. I pray for those who do not have the knowledge yet of why they are suffering from seemingly random energetic occurrences that they may find the wisdom and space to grow in the Light and their service work for all of humanity. I pray for those who are afraid of their gifts of sensitivity, that they may find peace and courage in their hearts. I pray for the energetically overwhelmed who cannot find inner or outer peace during times of surging energies, I am with you in your sufferings.
Most of all, I pray for Beloved Julie, whose holy work in transforming separated energies of density and opposition in service to bringing humanity forward in the Light, may be uplifted and strengthened in her Holy Mission.
Amen.
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