My journey and embracing my energetic sensitivity has not been an easy one.

For many years, long before I understood how God was asking me to participate in becoming 'ONE' with all of life…my heart once carried the belief that being energetically sensitive or having the 'gift' - was a punishment or curse.

I would use anything I could find to escape the feelings (energies)I was perceiving in my body and mind. Before purification, I would use alcohol and drugs to 'feel better' in the face of the unrelenting energies that would move through my body and consciousness. I was often either too expanded or too closed. I rode a daily roller coaster of emotional highs and lows that in my unconsciousness, I could not relegate.

Whilst seeking the camaraderie and spiritual connection of others who were like me (see 'others' - not connected yet!) - I was still so very asleep as to who I was and why I was the way I was.

Often those closest to me would negate my 'gift' and I would either become angry and defensive or shut down, as my 'gift' in those days felt like no gift at all.

Even as I was blessed by being 'with' Beloved Julie in the early and mid stages of purification, I would over eat, play hours of computer solitaire to distract my mind whilst my body was taking in or transmuting energies, and when I was able, sleep for hours on end.

As I opened to accepting my energetic sensitivities - my gift, it seemed as if the pain and energies intensified, Today I understand as part of my purification, I need to go through this experience, often time and time again, until I would call on God and in time, begin to feel God 'with' me in the presence of taking in darkness and suffering. No easy task I assure you!

Patiently and compassionately for years on end,(I have been 'with' Beloved Julie for about 20 years now) - Beloved would explain to me in phone calls, personal sessions, at Gatherings, and in emails, what was happening or going on and why, and even still - in my walking slumber, I would believe myself to be punished by God. The pain of what I was taking in was so intense, it made no sense to me at the time why God would allow such experiences.

Often when speaking with other healers and fellow soul travelers who were also energetically sensitive I would hear this familiar phrase which would bring simultaneous pain and feelings of not being seen - 'create a bubble of protection around you". The pain being I could not at that time explain to them that it was essential for me to go through these experiences as I was re-learning how to call on God and trust AND creating an energetic immunity to the energies. An immunity which could only be built within my energetic body by opening my self to the experiences. Often on my path, I have not been able to explain what I am going through. Often there has not been the ability to understand - leaving faith and trusting in the Most High as my only way through the experiences - even after Beloved Julie would explain to me what was going on and I would write it down!

Eventually, in time, I began having experiences where I was not only taking in suffering and pain - I began to have experiences of perceiving love and joy. Oddly, not very often from other humans - except for the Beloved - as many of us carry around until we are purified, layers of pain in our energy bodies, souls, cells and hearts.

I often began feeling the light. love and peace in nature first. Then in the animal kingdom, and then in my fellow brothers and sisters - perceiving the light and love of their souls! Hurrah what joy those moments brought.

Even today, I continue to struggle with taking in the suffering that others carry whom I come in contact with - or the energies of suffering that are being released on a planetary level - more so as I can feel the pain and suffering create a wall around me that is so thick that I can barely perceive God and the Light. My heart has purified to the extent that I no longer consider the energies I take in to be a curse - and a new level of perceivng Light is occurring for me…

During the One World Meditations I am now able to perceive the Presence of the Realms of Light. The experience is profoundly peaceful and awe inspiring. A Blessing which my mind would have never believed was to be given unto me and even still I hoped profoundly for, through one particular prayer I have been holding in my heart for the last 25 years….

In my heart the prayer sounds like this:

No heart has known,
No ear has heard,
What God has planned
For those who love God.

- Isaiah 64:4


I share various aspects of my energetic awakening for numerous reasons - hopefully others will share their experiences of being energetically sensitive AND those who have been on a similar path as mine will feel some peace in their hearts as they go through their energetic purification process, knowing that there is no need to create a protective bubble or barrier to pain and suffering - that there is another way through the pain and suffering - 'with' God, 'with' the Light - in the name of LOVE and ONEness.

oneLOVE


For more on the Purification Process - start with this article… http://lightomega.org/Ind/Pure/Spiritual-Purification-for-Everyone.html

Here's a listing of Purification articles from the Light Omega website: http://lightomega.org/Ind/Purification.html

The pain of life comes from many sources, like a river fed by multiple streams.
Sometimes, it is a teacher, awakening consciousness to greater truth.
Sometimes it is part of one's service to life, a service one agreed to prior to taking birth.

Often, it is not possible to know where pain comes from, yet its challenge is faithfulness, asking one to remember, always, the goodness of God.

CALENDAR OF HEALING
1. Dealing with Pain


LightOmega12 - The Gift of The Holy



"This, then is the (new)*reality that the heart that has become separated from its roots must learn, namely, that all must be sanctified because all is holy."

No longer shall life be separated…

Here is the part of Beloved Julie's teaching where I begin weeping with grief…

"The gift of the holy is the wonder of life lived in the moment,
not the impulse of the smaller self,
but the Divine impulse of the larger self,
reaching, always reaching,
to extend love."

"The song of the heart as it sings to the beauties of nature,
as it gives itself in love,
as it treads the ground of ordinary life -
these are the things of holiness to be reclaimed."

Gods promise which I await…

"…And the moments of separation will have disappeared like the mist as the sun rises."


* Ongoing reality, like groundhog day again and again - that my heart cannot perceive life here on earth as sanctified… My hearts pain in finding that each person I encounter has the free will to choose to see themselves as sanctified and the earth as sanctified or not. The pain of finding the reality of separation is all around me each day that I open my eyes once again from sleep.


Preserve this gift. (The Gift of the Holy).
Cherish it.
It is the life of your life and the thought of your thought
that gives you this precious gift.

(This is where I have fallen short in my life… forever trying to be like everyone else around me seeking to fit in - whether in the work space, or social life…and forever not fitting in for the reality that my souls holds as sacred reality is on in which life is sanctified and holy - not in the building of a church - but everywhere I walk, everywhere I go - there is no separation - there is only beauty, holiness and God.

I have strayed for so long as I have walked this planet in my 50 years. Seeking, always seeking, the holy - the beauty - the love and finding separation, darkness and pain…

Seeking the arms of the Beloved, the arms of the One" whom my soul feels it has left by becoming embodied…

Today as I open this forum… this is what I bring to share. The pain of separation. The pain of seeking the holy and finding one's self falling short on doing my own work to bring love and holiness where ever I am.

I look forward dear readers to your comments about your own journey.

oneLOVE

Namaste, dear Johanna,
My heart is grateful for you sharing your journey and abiding love for the Beloved.

You have expressed so beautifully the dichotomy of being an awakening soul. It took me many, many years to make the choice to feel the world around me because it was all too much. Too much to feel, to process, to navigate through because to do so, while separated, was to travel clothed in the world's clothing & not in God's. While the mind distorted the truth in order for me to stay longer, the body never lied. It was my body speaking to me over many years in the forms of illness or "accidents" that called me back to pursue the inner journey.

God puts the perfect teachers in our path exactly at the right time. I was being drawn deeper into healing, into Oneness & to fulfill my reason for being & so I was led to Julie.

During difficult times, the teachings she has brought forth have echoed in my heart, bringing me back, restoring hope, reassuring me as I was (& am being) reminded of who I am, who I have always been no matter what clothing I wore. It is as you have said, Johanna, of living in each moment. I found I am bearing the immense challenge of this life by embracing that in each moment I can begin again, fresh. Detaching from judgment of what I should have done.

Yes, there are times I trip, I forget but now I am always brought back because like you and so many, I don't stop reaching out. I will never stop reaching, calling & clinging to what is truth for me. It is my connection to what is truly real.

Am I tested? Yes, I am, as we all are. This will sound strange perhaps, but I can detect a little glimmer of what feels like happiness now when I fall short. I think it is because now I really know I can begin again & again!! The journey will take me however it takes. I will choose to begin again, it is my choice, it is a choice presented to all of us no matter what reality is presented. Knowing this doesn't mean I won't need a reminder. This is another reason why I am grateful for this forum.

It is the prayer of my heart that all of us making our way through the day to day find support, nourishment and love to sustain them. One cannot avoid the present suffering around us as it is continually makes itself present, asking us to open our hearts. This is a journey made easier, more joyful & hopeful when we can say, oh you felt that too..? I am not different from you, I've felt that way & here I am on the other side of the world!! I may speak a different language, I may call the Beloved a different name..& yet we are the same. The same pain, the same love, the same longing, one of the same heart.

I am so thankful for this opening you have lovingly brought forth, Johanna. Thank you.

With love, Meg

subject: Energetic Sensitivity - Embracing the Blessing of the Gift
Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 1:35 pm

Hello Johanna.

I would like to air and share a little of my spiritual journey as you have.

Being overly sensitive since childhood, created a life so painful that it took me to the depths of emotional despair and to the edge of life. I felt I didn’t fit into society; no one understood me, or, I felt even cared; so kept all thoughts and feelings hidden. It was easier to agree with others wishes, so my life was controlled and disciplined.

My inner pathway has been the same, restricted and disciplined, but this time I put up a fight. I had such inner turmoil where the ego self wanted to go one way and the heart (God within) was pulling me in a different direction. The internal battle of wills felt like world war three, it took the desolation of my life for me to surrender to Gods will. In hind sight I realise that my outer world just mirrored my inner world.

With a fear of being on my own compounded, and not having any external guidance made the purification process even more painful. I was made to walk centre path at all times, I felt I was being pushed to learn (I’m now aware I was guided), and told my guides wanted me to teach (my ego self didn’t want to) making my teacher training difficult, and so it went on, pulling and pushing and questioning everything; that was over twenty years ago. Eleven years ago I surrendered totally, I couldn’t fight any more. I was still restricted and disciplined but now walked with two friends ‘Trust and ‘Faith’. Their strength made my journey so much easier to come through the darkness, and out into the sunshine.

Looking back I can see that the pain and struggle was a blessing. Without it I wouldn’t have connected to the Christ consciousness; his light and love, and wouldn’t have accumulated spiritual gifts, and knowledge and understanding along the way.

Thank you Johanna for creating this page so I was able to share a little of my experiences, it was very therapeutic.


n.b. As we purify and heal at each level, the light from our soul shines through creating not only an inner strength but an outer energy field of protection so that we stand and walk in Gods light. We are then able to act as a beacon of light for others guiding them on their journey.

Jeannie