Experiencing The Energies of Suffering Before They Manifest.
I am not a psychic.
This is important to know before I share more with you Dear Readers.
I experience suffering, most especially mass suffering, before it happens. If I were a psychic, I would know where the suffering would be occurring. As I am one who serves by holding, and being 'with' the suffering, I am given the gift of perceiving the suffering coming forward so that I might hold it in my heart in holiness and prayer.
How do I perceive the suffering?
For some of you Dear Readers, what I share will be a sacred phenomenon that you too have experienced in your own way, through your own path of service of the heart. For others, it may seem like something you might never want to experience, and I do understand with compassion.
My gifts first began manifesting in the year 2001. At first I was afraid, felt overwhelmed, and needed great support to hold the visions, and physical and auditory experiences I was having. I doubted myself, my gift, why I was being given such a sacred gift. I had a first, because of my distance in my heart and my mind, due to energies of density and darkness I was holding, difficulty trusting God and that I would be able to hold what I was being asked to hold. My sacred work made 'working' near impossible, though for years I pushed on and tried to be of the world, whilst I was serving and working within a very different reality.
Eventually, I made the choice to give my life entirely to the sacred work which was coming to me and through me.
With this choice I willingly made, came a greater opening within me to accept more within my heart and body. As time evolved, I began to accept greater amounts of suffering and pain, more than at times my mind and body thought I could bear. I tell you this Dear Readers not because I am some sort of saint - I tell you this because I am an ordinary person, who will never cast the first stone, for I too have strayed from the holy as I have walked upon the path of human life. I share this with you Dear Readers, because we are all being called to hold each other, and each other's suffering. Perhaps not in the ways I have been called, as we are each called in our own ways.
When mass suffering is about to unfold, I can experience what is to come forth through either hearing (and feeling) in my heart the screams of those who are (will be suffering) and/or through the dense temporary debilitating energies of darkness and sometimes intense evil, which seems to temporarily shut down my ability to function, physically disabling me, (which eventually passes), cognitively disrupting my thoughts and abilities to compose (which eventually passes), to name a few of the experiences which come forth. Sometimes I have visions and at other times, I can see those who have passed or are passing. Once the expression of the energies has come forth in this dimensional reality, I often experience 'inner space' as that which was expressed which was not of Light, is held by more embodied souls.
Sometimes, I can continue with my work sharing and holding this space open for the future with you Dear Readers on the One Earth Awakening Forum. At other times, I retreat and wait until I am able to be with you.
At all times, no matter how much darkness I am taking in, I know I am with the Nameless One whom I choose to call God. I am not, as others with this gift have called themselves in my presence, cursed. I am blessed to be called forth to hold the suffering of my planetary brothers and sisters, even as I feel my embodied unworthiness, I know I am blessed.
All blessings and thanks to my Beloved Teacher, Julie of Light Omega who has shown me the way through the darkness with God and my beloved community, especially those who are closest to me, who uphold me and support me so that Thy Will may be done.
with love, Johanna
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